i lost my job because of this blog. and i probably deserved it.
on controversy, consequences, and the truth
Last Friday, I received this ominous email from my teaching manager:
Naturally, I was a little freaked out.
Why was I removed from my MCAT class? Was I just a terrible teacher? Probably not — last time a student complained, I’d only been sent to remedial training.
So I asked for clarification.
Ah, shit.
Here’s the writing in question:
First, I wrote about my desire to sleep with as many women as possible. It quickly became my most viewed post! But the reception was… polarized. Many readers (both men and women) related to my experience. Others felt uncomfortable.
Then, I posted a travelogue of my sexual misadventures in Europe — a string of hookups from country to country, ranging from ages 18-38, including one instance of (legal) prostitution.
Yeah, I know — not a great look. I wanted to ruffle some feathers, spark a little controversy.
I did not expect it to blow up my life.
Right away, I was kicked out of my creative co-working community — a place for artists, musicians, and writers to cultivate relationships. The founder of the space pulled me aside and said girls complained of feeling ‘unsafe’. Therefore, he said, I had to leave.
Two days later, I was taken off my MCAT class. My manager cited the same reason for termination.
In one fell swoop, I lost both my community and my job, thanks to the blog.
So for the past couple weeks I’ve been pretty depressed, getting high every night, oscillating between angry and defeated.
It turns out, the internet is not this imaginary little sandbox where you can say whatever you want. Digital actions have real life consequences. Public perception matters, and the wrong impression can ruin you.
My mom tells me to delete the blog. My friends suggest I anonymize it. But I will do neither. I’ll stand by my work. I’ll keep writing under my real name and face and accept whatever happens. I’ll keep sharing the ugliest parts of me, so long as they’re true.
You wanna know the truth? I’m glad I got fired. I was tired of the job. I love my students, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a weight off my shoulders. And I got a sick headline out of it.
No, what really wrecked me was losing my creative community. It’s not every day you find people who feel like home. I miss you guys, and I wish I’d known better.
But you live and you learn. One day, I’ll find where I belong.
Until then, I’ll keep writing.
I mean.... yeah. Props for the honesty, but internet edgelord honesty might not get you around the best community. I respect you (kind of?) for choosing to die on this hill, but also, I don't respect you. Personally I think it's a foolish choice. But hopefully this gets you where you want to go! I urge you to not get stoned every waking moment so you don't end up in an ego spiral.
I think it's pretty ridiculous that you got fired over that, actually. I don't think you deserved it at all. I'm sorry you lost the community, though. That's the worst.