you are not a victim.
when life plays mean little tricks on you
You are not a victim.
Even if life plays mean little tricks on you, like giving your mom cancer and making your dad leave and never come back.
You are not a victim.
Even if it leaves you fucked up and friendless and now you are afraid of everything and ruin every girl you date and can't seem to fucking get it together.
Even so, you are not a victim.
Stop trying to elicit sympathy. You do it for attention; you think it absolves you of responsibility. But pity is not love and pity is not affection and pity is not respect. Pity will not save you.
You are not a victim.
Not of fate, not of circumstance, not of your past. If only I’d been born to different parents, you think. I'd have turned out right. But you are not chained to your childhood. Your parents did the best they could.
You are not a victim of your emotions, no matter how helpless you feel.
You are not your pain. Don’t hurt others the way you've been hurt.
You are not your fear. Don’t cling to this relic from the past.
You are not your anger. Don’t let the inferno consume you.
You feel so alive when the wildfires in your chest crash out, relentless, unstoppable, uncontrollable. Part of you loves the destruction — it makes you feel powerful; it might be the only time you feel powerful.
But destroying what you love is weakness, not strength. Strength is creation. Strength is nurture. Strength is love.
Being a victim is a choice.
We all get kicked down sometimes. But a victim chooses to stay down. Look at me! he cries, rolling around in the dust. Look at my pain! He feels he is owed for his suffering. He needs someone to blame. He sees himself as broken, unfixable.
But you, my friend, are not broken anymore. The shards of your past will not determine your future. Consider a kintsugi vase — once shattered, now held together by gold; its purpose transformed. Your own scars, your veins of gold, will bring you joy.
You don’t have to suffer anymore. Accept that you’re in control. Get back on your feet. It won’t be quick; it won’t be easy. But it is your choice.
Because you are not a victim.
Once you accept that, you can be whatever you choose.
I often find myself slipping into a victim mindset, which strains my relationships and keeps me from accomplishing great things. This piece is a reminder to reject those patterns whenever they arise. Hope it resonates with someone out there.
👻 weekly updates
This week I read one of my new favorite novels - Water for Elephants. Wow. Incredible. Would you guys be interested in book reviews? I might write one anyway. Here it is, in brief: stunning story, captivating visual language, thrilling romance, perfectly crafted. I could not stop reading and finished it in a day. 9.5/10.
Finished Debussy’s First Arabesque. Feels good getting back into classical keys, after a short break of about… 10 years. Thinking about what to play next. Reverie, perhaps? Taking suggestions as well.
“Strength is creation. Strength is nurture. Strength is love.”
you don’t need to be a victim to “deserve” kindness and empathy and compassion from yourself and from others. try to remember that <3