i’ll never post this because my ex follows this blog, my ex who i broke up with right before i left for europe, and i don’t want to hurt her more than i already have. it would ruin her, probably, to find out i’d immediately gone and kissed other girls, fucked other girls. one in every country, at least. and at least one of those girls is still my friend and reading about the other ‘other girls’ would hurt her too. so i’ll never post this. but i have to write it anyway.
in amsterdam there were two: a girl i kissed but didn’t fuck, and a girl i fucked but didn’t kiss.
the first girl i met on my second day. she was sitting alone at the hostel. she told me how a guy the night before had brought her to the red light district and paid for her ticket to the sex museum, and she said so with an air of slight disdain, and i knew i could do better than him. she was 18. she had dutch blood and was taller than me. she came with us to the techno club that night (her first) and we danced until the morning. the next day, i took her on a boat tour through the canals of amsterdam. she thanked me after. she said that she sometimes forgot to thank people for things, and i thought about all the things i take for granted about my friends. we sat under the willows, watching the boats glide past, listening to her music. there was a green parrot in the tree above us. i was nervous, i hadn’t had a first kiss in a long time. i hesitated twice. then i kissed her.
the next girl was a hooker. here’s a link to the full story.
in berlin i met up with a girl i’d been talking to online. on the train ride to our first destination (cafe am neuer see), i thought about kissing her, then i did. i. cut her off mid sentence and just did it. i’ve been working on second guessing myself less. we got a drink at a biergarten, then, on our way to the rose garden, i saw a convenient stretch of woods, led her in, laid my coat on the ground and fucked her on top of it. why no bed? u might ask. her parents were visiting. the next day we met for bengali food. we got off of the train by a river, and i led her into a bush where we could hear the footsteps of people around, and we were only half hidden from the other bank of the river, but she rode me there in that bush and then we ate after. later, while showering, i found a leaf in my foreskin.
later that night, i met a lesbian girl who for whatever reason was into me (maybe my feminine energy or smt), her friend had just killed herself, we did molly and were touching each other all night then went back to the hostel and she slept with me. forgot to mention, this was a 10 person room and she was staying in the same room so it wasn’t thaaaat weird. she gave me head and i fingered her and i wanted to fuck her so bad but either the molly or the fact that i was about to be her first man, each time i was about to put it in i lost my erection. tuff. but still a good time.
in budapest i offered a hungarian girl a cigarette and she was into asian guys so she showed me around the next day. we went to this island in the middle of the river with a big park, and she told me she used to watch gay porn and now she only watched solo male porn, i.e. men stroking it, so i offered to jerk off in a bush for her. which ended up happening like an hour later as the sun was setting but before the streetlights turned on. she kissed me and got me hard and i hugged her close but finished the deed myself, and my seed has been sown into the earth of margaret’s island in budapest hungary. she told me later she was watching my face the whole time until i came, and then she was alternating between watching up top and down below. i thought that was funny,
in vienna i met a 38 year old austrian woman who was in an open relationship with her boyfriend of 9 years. (i stg she looked 30, max.) there was live music at a bar so i went in and she smiled at me so i sat next to her, she bought me a drink and i tried to kiss her, but she said hold on. what’s the rush? let’s take it slow. three hours later i was inside her. i took her back to the hostel and booked a private room for 80 euros. she was on her ‘strawberry days’ and bled all over the sheets. she had the body of a 28 year old and was so soft and hot, and in the morning i dumped the bloody sheets into a communal hostel laundry bin. she’d never had a one night stand quite like that and neither had i. i guess i made her feel young again.
in nice, i was striking out left and right with women. the first girl who wanted me was wayyy to drunk and i ditched her, i feel a little bad about that one, i never apologized. the second girl my roommate called a butterface and so i didn’t want her anymore. the girl i was rly into was into another guy.
the next night, i decided to attend a pub crawl and try to meet some new people. off the bat, i met her. pretty, german, 19, had an american/british/australian accent because she hated german accents. we danced and drank and chatted, and i brought her down ti the beach to make out… except… my lips started swelling and my face got really itchy and red and it turns out im allergic to german girls. actually it was the french medication, cream i was using for my chapped upper lip area and it caused a nasty rash that spread across my face and chest and arms so we went to a 24 pharmacy for pills that temporarily stopped the rash, and we watched the sun rise together on the beach and it was beautiful and perfect except the next day when we met my lips were so swollen she refused to kiss me. she kissed me on the cheek, i emailed her goodbye and she didn’t reply.
now i am lying in bed in paris with swollen lips and a rash on my neck and arms, and no girl will kiss me in the city of love but that’s okay because i think ive had enough love this trip anyway.
why are you writing like WBE now bruh
every time you write you make me feel like i’m removing my own fingernails one by one. i hatelove the way you write about women. 10/10, no notes, i will be tuning in every time you post.